April: I started a new cycle on Easter weekend and our doctor gave us the "thumbs-up" to begin hormones in preparation for a frozen embryo transfer (FET). I took oral estrogen for 3 weeks, went in to have an ultrasound and schedule our FET and the ultrasound showed that my uterine lining was not thick enough. Our doctors wanted things to look perfect before transferring, so our FET was cancelled and were told to wait a month before trying again.
May: I started hormone injections since I did not respond well to the oral estrogen. My uterine lining looked perfect this time so we transfered our 2 remaining frozen embryos on May 21. A week later we found out we were pregnant again.
June-August: Weekly blood work showed that my HCG was doubling normally over the following three weeks, but I began to have some spotting, which turned into heavy bleeding. Diagnosis: Subchorionic Hemorrhage- a pocket of blood in the uterus. Dr. D told me it would not impact the pregnancy, but it was scary nonetheless. Our 6 1/2 week ultrasound on June 18 showed one embryo with a fetal pole measuring normally. They couldn't detect the heartbeat yet, but assumed it was still just too early to show up. A follow-up ultrasound 5 days later showed no heartbeat and no growth since the previous ultrasound. Our pregnancy was not viable. We were devastated. How could this be happening AGAIN!? We got a prescription for a medication that would help my body rid itself of the pregnancy, and then took off to the beach for the weekend to grieve and process our loss. It's now two months later and my miscarriage is still not over. I had to take the medication twice, as it did not work the first time, and continue to have spotting and weekly blood work to check my HCG until things are complete. I am feeling much better physically, but look forward to days where I don't have the constant reminder of our loss.
Jeff and I have had some time over the past few months to grieve, do some soul searching, and think about our next steps. We've signed up for an infertility support group that will start in September. We've also made the decision not to pursue any more fertility treatments at this time. Our doctor still does not have a cause for my repeated pregnancy losses and says another round of IVF could work for us, but we are physically and emotionally worn down. I've been on fertility medications and hormones for over a year now and the idea of another round of IVF feels scary, uncertain, worrisome, stressful, draining....the list goes on. Becoming parents is our number one goal right now, not pregnancy, so we're looking into adoption! Like fertility treatments, adoption is scary, but it holds so much more promise and hope for us. We are really excited! We're in the very early stages--still reading books and blogs and requesting information from various agencies. We're hoping to schedule some consultations over the next few weeks and find an agency that is a good fit for us. Looks like our IVF blog is becoming an adoption blog! Stay tuned! :)
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